"It's never rained like it has tonight before."-Patty Griffin
My Mom was praying for my pesky headache that has insisted on hanging out with me for two days now. More than that, I think she sensed I've been a little overwhelmed lately, and this is just not the right time to have to deal with an insistent headache.
But it was when she prayed, "Lord, please help Christi feel Your presence tonight" - exactly then - that I heard pit pat pit pat on my windshield. As I've mentioned before, I have a lifelong deep soul connection to the rain. I smiled a little and felt a little more noticed than I had a few moments before.
My Mom and I hung up the phone, and the rain stopped. I continued driving home. Suz was on her way and I was grabbing the pizza. My best guy had a rough day today, and since he hadn't had the energy to do it, I was going to have to clean up the downstairs whirlwind-quick before she got there. So you can imagine my frustration when, on the last long stretch of typically open road before arriving at our house, someone decided to stop. For no apparent reason. Complete halt. I mean six or seven cars lined up, and me at the back of it all, going nowhere. Fist raised in frustration, I started to shout, "What the -" pit pat pit pat. Quite suddenly, it began to rain on me again. In spite of myself, I smiled a litle.
Things feel maddeningly out of control and frighteningly huge at the moment. Despite the truth that I believe our loving Heavenly Father is in control and has a beautiful plan, things feel a bit in shambles right now. I constantly feel like I'm trying to gather all the pieces - but I can't see where they've all flown, and I wouldn't have the arm span to collect them all even if I could. It's easy to feel lost in times like these. But I'm not. My God, the one who promised never to leave me - or my sweet husband - or forsake us is right here, close at hand, nearer than we'd imagine. And so intimately does He know me that I am convinced He sent a couple mini rain showers my way today - just a little pitter patter to remind me
He does see me, He does love me, He does have a plan, and He does have total control.
Regardless of how it may feel.
The forecast predicts some thunderstorms tonight. I'm waiting expectantly. Waiting for His presence to thunder through and pour over us, washing away our fears and doubts - nourishing our souls and giving us clean, brave hearts.
I'm Holding On
4 comments:
love everything about this post...your insight, your love for the rain, your use of a patty griffin lyric, your trust, your honesty, and that i can hear that same rain sound right now and feel equally loved and protected by the big G...especially with my yellow umbrella that fills me with HOPE.
<3
(and i also love writing sentences that never end or use proper grammer.)
Thanks, Christi, for sharing. Love the honesty, love the faith. Hugs and prayers.
Like Suz...I love how on email and blogs I use all sorts of weird dots and dashes and incorrect grammar! Gone are the days of writing school papers. :) Kindergartners are encouraged to use invented spelling - like it sounds to them. Can't we use invented grammar - typing it like it should sound to us?! :)
Christi -
Beautiful post. I just want you to know that when things feel like they are in "shambles," please remember you're not alone. You don't have to gather the pieces by yourself. Maybe that's why God gave me a little extra on the arm span - so I can help. Love you.
sending you a wave and blowing you a kiss <3 praying for ya'll...and thanking God for Hope and his promises.
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